sauerkraut

like cabbage i opened up to him,
just a kid
but my fear became like folds
and i was in full bloom to him
my dreams
like sauerkraut
pickled up
in old mason jars
and stored in a closet
where no sun could get to

for years i lived like that
until i was ripe enough
to pass on
the bodysnatch
but
no garden will ever be made
from me
for i will not let anyone
reap for what i have sowed
instead i keep it inside
tasting it

like blood in my mouth

like sauerkraut

sulking in my own juice