INDIAN COUNTRY TODAY:
wow, i made it into Indian Country Today. if it weren't for adrian pointing it out to me i would've never known.ty. it's an essay i wrote last semester for a scholarship but was never made aware they were going to publish it. the bio is a little wrong and the i hate the pic but it's cool to see me somewhere. below is the link.
Joel Waters in Indian Country Today
Monday, January 30, 2006
Thursday, January 26, 2006
the remains of me (reworked)
the remains of me
have been scattered
here and there
torn to shreds by enemies
the rest died with a lover
i scattered out like stars
the vast prairie hills
still show my scars
scattered like glass
from a car crash
i pass through the area
like the way
wind blows trash
no fence can hold me
no landfill
i am even on the highways
like roadkill
i remain
with the burial grounds
no scafolds
like the day of old
a time when flesh
rotted away
in the clean light of day
now we must be hidden
like a deep secret
churches hush
gods judge
only the bones still keep it
in these days of archeology
no one
will pick my bones clean
no formaldehyde
no mortuary
i will live in the marrow
in what remains
i will lie down
with ancient bones
and listen to the seasons
and be a brother to the stones
it is here
here will i remain
with those
that will share the grave
and what is left of me
my family
will divide up equally
inside a niece's eyes
or a brother
who shares the same
talented side
so to the maggots
i will go
then the grass
and maybe an antelope
after all
i am just coyote food
but that in itself
is still pretty good
the remains of me
have been scattered
here and there
torn to shreds by enemies
the rest died with a lover
i scattered out like stars
the vast prairie hills
still show my scars
scattered like glass
from a car crash
i pass through the area
like the way
wind blows trash
no fence can hold me
no landfill
i am even on the highways
like roadkill
i remain
with the burial grounds
no scafolds
like the day of old
a time when flesh
rotted away
in the clean light of day
now we must be hidden
like a deep secret
churches hush
gods judge
only the bones still keep it
in these days of archeology
no one
will pick my bones clean
no formaldehyde
no mortuary
i will live in the marrow
in what remains
i will lie down
with ancient bones
and listen to the seasons
and be a brother to the stones
it is here
here will i remain
with those
that will share the grave
and what is left of me
my family
will divide up equally
inside a niece's eyes
or a brother
who shares the same
talented side
so to the maggots
i will go
then the grass
and maybe an antelope
after all
i am just coyote food
but that in itself
is still pretty good
THOUGHTS:
working on my first novel again has brought a wave of memories back to me. it's a fiction piece that i finished years ago about the very first friends i had in my life who meant a lot to me. i finished it in 2001, sent it off to get critiqued and was very disappointed with it. then life got in the way, school, job, falling in love, etc. i shelved it for several years. i just didn't have that excitement and feel for it when i was writing it, at least not until this past new years eve. i was in the town my story takes place in --at the bar celebrating. when i ran into the person my book was soley based on. it was such a shock, i hadn't talked to him in years, but then there we were right at the stroke of midnight talking and drinking together and it was as if the years just melted away, and we were both 15 again causing trouble and just being best friends. i'd seen him in college before and said hi, but he had said he didn't recognize me, so i thought," well, i guess we're not friends anymore." anyway i told him about the novel and said i was writing about him and our adventures and he was actually suprised. he said, "Who am i to be written about?" just the type of thing he'd say. so i gave him the reasons as we tripped down memory lane and oh my god it was so much fun to retell old stories! so he wants to read my book, and now i'm back to writing it and this time i will finish it completely. i have the excitement back and am extremely confident it will be better than ever. we spent the next two days together drinking beer and hanging out, i despise beer but i thought, "what the heck." i'm just glad to have my old friend back.
working on my first novel again has brought a wave of memories back to me. it's a fiction piece that i finished years ago about the very first friends i had in my life who meant a lot to me. i finished it in 2001, sent it off to get critiqued and was very disappointed with it. then life got in the way, school, job, falling in love, etc. i shelved it for several years. i just didn't have that excitement and feel for it when i was writing it, at least not until this past new years eve. i was in the town my story takes place in --at the bar celebrating. when i ran into the person my book was soley based on. it was such a shock, i hadn't talked to him in years, but then there we were right at the stroke of midnight talking and drinking together and it was as if the years just melted away, and we were both 15 again causing trouble and just being best friends. i'd seen him in college before and said hi, but he had said he didn't recognize me, so i thought," well, i guess we're not friends anymore." anyway i told him about the novel and said i was writing about him and our adventures and he was actually suprised. he said, "Who am i to be written about?" just the type of thing he'd say. so i gave him the reasons as we tripped down memory lane and oh my god it was so much fun to retell old stories! so he wants to read my book, and now i'm back to writing it and this time i will finish it completely. i have the excitement back and am extremely confident it will be better than ever. we spent the next two days together drinking beer and hanging out, i despise beer but i thought, "what the heck." i'm just glad to have my old friend back.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
THOUGHTS:
i have just finished typing up an essay that took me about 40 min. it's for a class i need to finish, but i think it's so good that i'm thinking about sending it to a journal or something. maybe redink or lakota times or something native american. it's about the blatant racism hidden, yet not, in network shows, or rather cartoons. i watch a lot of comedic stuff to improve my standup pieces whenever i host or perform onstage, so i've come across a lot of bullshit that they put on tv all for the sake of a good laugh. the title for my piece is called Hysterical Blindness and all for good reason. my classes are rather boring this semester, but i finally get to read REINVENTING THE ENEMIES LANGUAGE, an anthology edited by the fabulous JOY HARJO. i also get to watch my favorite show the L word. i must admit i used to hate shows like that, but so much drama you've gotta watch. soon when i get the time i will go back and rework my first novel, i have to show it to someone who i really love and adore and who's opinion matters a whole lot, someone who i haven't seen in years...but i'll get to more on that some other day.
i have just finished typing up an essay that took me about 40 min. it's for a class i need to finish, but i think it's so good that i'm thinking about sending it to a journal or something. maybe redink or lakota times or something native american. it's about the blatant racism hidden, yet not, in network shows, or rather cartoons. i watch a lot of comedic stuff to improve my standup pieces whenever i host or perform onstage, so i've come across a lot of bullshit that they put on tv all for the sake of a good laugh. the title for my piece is called Hysterical Blindness and all for good reason. my classes are rather boring this semester, but i finally get to read REINVENTING THE ENEMIES LANGUAGE, an anthology edited by the fabulous JOY HARJO. i also get to watch my favorite show the L word. i must admit i used to hate shows like that, but so much drama you've gotta watch. soon when i get the time i will go back and rework my first novel, i have to show it to someone who i really love and adore and who's opinion matters a whole lot, someone who i haven't seen in years...but i'll get to more on that some other day.
Monday, January 23, 2006
UPDATE:
my poetry has always been confessional. i write the things i endured and still endure, and most would say it's rather dark and depressing, but that life sometimes. although i had a rough life, and am still an artist in the bowels of poverty i can't complain. i used to hate living on the reservation. but moving from pine ridge to rosebud, sd isn't all that bad because i've lived in three different states in three years and hell is what you make of it. i stopped a lot of negative things since 2003. i've grown to be more positive in life, and in my dealing with three relatives death, has helped me cope with life better--as weird as that sounds. you can only cry for so long, before you run out of tears. it is not so bad being on the reservation, but i tell you it is a hell of a lot better being away from pine ridge. there's so much drinking and fighitng and rumors of destruction you have to deal with. plus you deal with ignorance everywhere, but these places have helped me deal with the things i must kill. the demons of my past--that i am trying to put to rest. i have finished my final manuscript in poetry, as a way to put an end to some of it. and i tell you it's like throwing a heavy weight off of your shoulders. i am still going to school. i am almost done. one more year at least. one thing's for certain though, i must return to usd in vermillion to graduate, plus i owe them money and they won't release my transcripts. *bleh!* anyway this is an update on my life of writing poetry and stories. more to come again soon. ttfn.
my poetry has always been confessional. i write the things i endured and still endure, and most would say it's rather dark and depressing, but that life sometimes. although i had a rough life, and am still an artist in the bowels of poverty i can't complain. i used to hate living on the reservation. but moving from pine ridge to rosebud, sd isn't all that bad because i've lived in three different states in three years and hell is what you make of it. i stopped a lot of negative things since 2003. i've grown to be more positive in life, and in my dealing with three relatives death, has helped me cope with life better--as weird as that sounds. you can only cry for so long, before you run out of tears. it is not so bad being on the reservation, but i tell you it is a hell of a lot better being away from pine ridge. there's so much drinking and fighitng and rumors of destruction you have to deal with. plus you deal with ignorance everywhere, but these places have helped me deal with the things i must kill. the demons of my past--that i am trying to put to rest. i have finished my final manuscript in poetry, as a way to put an end to some of it. and i tell you it's like throwing a heavy weight off of your shoulders. i am still going to school. i am almost done. one more year at least. one thing's for certain though, i must return to usd in vermillion to graduate, plus i owe them money and they won't release my transcripts. *bleh!* anyway this is an update on my life of writing poetry and stories. more to come again soon. ttfn.
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